First act-The Introduction

Saying yes to some things means saying no to others. And… Saying no to some things means saying yes to others. Are you taking notes yet?
Your priorities will be indicative of this every single day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Our relationships are really powerful in how we make decisions. We’re unconsciously and constantly scanning for possible negative impacts of our choices. Will people still accept us, like us, or even love us?

Second act-The betrayal

After long enough the habit and norm is to make choices and behave based on what other people want to make them happy so they’ll be in a relationship with us. So we betray ourselves and put others first. The biggest tragedy is when this happens with children.

As for adult relationships this goes for friendships, lovers, colleagues, and even family. Manipulation in relationships knows no bounds. But which person is doing the manipulating? The one adjusting their behavior to get what they want or the one who’s stipulated connection based off getting what they want… quite possibly both!

Third act-The Confrontation

The remedy is to draw lines. AKA Boundaries for the slow learners. Telling others… and sometimes ourselves to stop doing things they’re/we’re doing.

Physical boundaries about how we touch or make contact with one another including violence, sex, affection, appreciation, etc etc.

Emotional boundaries where we retain the right and ability to feel what we feel and when we feel like guilt, fear, or shame… and others. Who has heard something like,”You should be ashamed of yourself!” for simply doing something that didn’t harm anyone and brought you joy and fulfillment? Yeah, that bullshit.

Mental boundaries around what we think about ourselves, the world, and others. We get to choose not anyone else. We’ve all had people in our lives or still do who try to tell us what to think.

And finally, spiritual boundaries. We get to choose what god means to us, what’s sacred in our life and world, and how we make sense of things that aren’t easy to explain about what’s bigger than ourselves.

Final act-The Reconciliation

Do you do things you don’t want to do so people will be in a some type of relationship with you?
What do you fear you’ll lose if you don’t give people what they want?
Who in your past that was important to you taught you this?
How long ago was that?
When are you going to start drawing some lines?

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