I’ve recently been looking deeper into the experience of contentment. (The last few years.) I recognize in myself and others that there’s a line that we can teeter across between being happy with what we have or not. The keyword I will point out is “have”.
There’ve been times in my life where I had what I thought was a lot and times that I didn’t. When I live through a certain entity inside of myself that spectrum directly correlates with being content. And yet… I see people, soceties, and cultures with next to nothing that are happier than I think I’ve ever been.
The true measure of success became more and more that I could find contentment no matter what I had. There was an opportunity to adapt what a bunch of that stuff meant to me.
I also have been looking at other markers for success, like that I’m safe, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So I created good boundaries for these things and learned to uphold them. It took some serious adjustments in certain relationships over a period of time but for the most part that came into focus and damn did it feel good.
More recently the thing that I’ve been examining in my markers for success being about allowing myself to experience a sense of ease in my life. I’ve been tense as long as I can remember. I have some moments of peace and ease but wholesale embodiment of ease have been elusive. I choose tension. And I do that for reasons that were good in an outdated version of me, an old version. The updated version is still working out the bugs of this but it’s happening. If I don’t sort out that whole ease thing it has implications in other areas as well.
The last thing that I’ve brought my attention to which I want you to think about as well is safety of the ones you love. In my quest for the things that I make up create success in my life I not only want to be safe but I want others to be safe too. But what I’ve come to face the truth about to a deeper and deeper degree is that I make others in my life not safe. When I choose tension rather than ease others in my life are not safe.
This goes for all of us but if I don’t figure my shit out the important people in my life are at risk over and over of my shitty moods, my negative complaining, outbursts on occasion, just nit picky criticism, or betrayal of agreements. Or maybe you’re just selfish and lack being thoughtful. My favorite one that’s really really common is the unhealthy expressions of anger.
The opportunity:
Do you express anger in healthy ways?
What needs to be adjusted in your markers for success?
Where in your life do you have opportunities to have peace and happiness that you don’t take?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!