Awareness, denial, ownership, and finally either facing it or just burying it.
I thought this week I’d share a little progression that I notice with myself and others when it comes to realizing we have a gap between who we say we are and how we’re actually being.
Early on when we experience issues, we’re not even conscious there’s a problem. We feel something is wrong because our life is not running smooth. Our relationships are tense or clunky. Maybe we’re awkward or feel empty? There are signs if we’re willing to sit down with ourselves and be in inquiry.
After we move past vague notions that we’re uncomfortable and have some type of “awakening” we consider what the problem is we begin to discover something is amiss. If you’re like me, sometimes, not always, you bargain. You bargain about who’s really responsible for what’s happening. You bargain if it’s you or there’s somebody else you can blame. Circumstance. The past. Your childhood. Blah. Blah. Blah.
Eventually, I/we need to sit down to the real consequences of who we are, what we’re doing and own that we are the ones in charge of our life. (Most of the time.) If I/we are to expect that we will EVER be able to create the life we say we want to have, we’re going to have to own the lame stuff too.
I’ll admit that at times, I oscillate back and forth with denial and ownership. I believe this is common and human. I accept my humanity and you should too but you have to own your shit and figure out how you’re creating the lame stuff in your life and regulate yourself to do better. You need to motivate yourself to do better.
This is where the next part of the journey starts. Along with denial that it’s really me who’s making my life what it is, I can and will from time to time bury what’s really happening and go back to sleep. Back to the numbness of my head in the sand or put the blinders back on.
Facing it means spending conscious time with it. Sitting with it. Writing about it. Removing all distractions and being with it. Mediating on it. Breathing into it. And… feeling it. Feeling it through the sensations in our bodies and not trying to escape from it but allowing the wisdom of those sensations begin to bring wisdom to the surface that will change you/me.
Most of us know where we’re hiding… unregulated spending, wasting time, not dealing with bodyweight issues, keeping people or connections in our lives that are unhealthy or draining.
Pick the top thing you’ve not been willing to face.
Commit 90 days to get on track and get back on track as many times that’s needed and as quickly as you can after realizing you’ve fallen off.
Email me and share what it is. Share it with a friend or loved one.
See you in three months.
Thanks for your time, have a great day.