One of my gifts, (or at least I used to think was a gift) was that I could stay in an uncomfortable situation for longer than most. I would almost never give up. I’d stay in relationships too long or I would keep things on my plate long after it was clear that things were a bust.
In martial arts, I was willing to let someone crank on me while I was in a joint lock or choke hold. I’d hold out until I was choked out or tap out only in the very end.
I have examples on the other side of the spectrum too. I’d give up way too easy or… I wouldn’t even start because I was afraid that I would get or create what I wanted.
This has led me to something that I ask people often which is what is their relationship with failure? I get a lot of different answers but some that are telling are ones like this: “failure is not an option”, “I hate failing”, “I make sure I never fail”. We need to fail. Your ego doesn’t want to but when facilitated well it’s amazing!
In Japanese martial arts there is a term called “ukemi”. It is the art of falling. One of it’s primary purposes of practicing this art is to not be injured in a situation where dodging a blow or falling gracefully is needed in a combat situation. Minimize the potential harm by choosing the best timing of the fall rather than missing the best window for the highest outcome.
No matter where you are on the spectrum of holding tension, whether it’s too long or not long enough, take this opportunity see if it’s time to address what deeper truth might need to be faced.
Maybe you’re not willing to assert yourself?
Maybe you’re not patient enough?
Maybe you’re caught up in that hamster wheel of trying… trying… trying…
Or you’re horrible at admitting failure?
Or you’re unwilling to recognize whats possible and what’s impossible?
Most problems will not fix themselves so we’re required to do something to make the changes we want in our lives.
What is your relationship with failure?
Where in your life do you commonly not stay in the tension to create what you want?
Where do you need to release the tension you’re holding and surrender?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!