“All goes onward and outward . . . . and nothing collapses, / And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier. // Has any one supposed it lucky to be born? / I hasten to inform him or her it is just as lucky to die, and I know it.” – […]
“… awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: ‘This is water, this is water.’ // It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in […]
This post is about loneliness. It’s about the ways in which I crave it, cultivate it, complain about it, long for its death, and grieve over it. The truth is, I spend quite a bit of time feeling lonely, and I spend even more time analyzing it, fighting it, and hoping that someday someone will […]
I have a confession: I’m an overachiever, and I’m insatiable. I love to play the underdog, wear the chip on my shoulder, feel like I’ve overcome some unfair handicap, and exceed everyone’s expectations. And it seems like I can never get enough. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a perfectionist who binges […]
One of my favorite books is Moby-Dick. It’s full of humor, drama, and introspective reflection. It’s expansive, covering seemingly every physical and metaphysical topic under the sun. It also teaches me to listen. Ishmael, the narrator (at least “Ishmael” is what he instructs us, as readers, to call him.), spends thousands of words on the […]
“Do what you fear the most,” read a note magnetized to Ben’s old apartment in Pittsburgh. I met Ben in grad school, and it was my first time visiting him after we had gone our separate ways. And I haven’t forgotten that note. It struck me as bold, as courageous, as, well, really fucking scary. […]
God is a difficult word for me. It’s a difficult concept to think about – and by difficult I mean that my body typically physically locks up when someone mentions it. Even writing about it right now, I want to open a new tab in my browser, distract myself, and/or walk [run] away. And, come […]
Compartmentalization is an illusion one with real consequences “How you act in one part of your life bleeds into all the other areas of your life,” Chance had said in the car. It wasn’t to me, but I was listening, even if I couldn’t yet fully hear – or process – what he was saying. And […]
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