In two different areas of my life I’ve been taught to appreciate and acknowledge what opportunities I’ve been provided to learn.
My old martial arts teacher said to me that everyone is my teacher, they either teach me how I want to be or they teach me how I don’t want to be. I learned to stop and bow, with intention, before sparring and practicing techniques of choking one another out to say thank you for the opportunity to learn what I’m about to learn.
Throughout the last year I’ve read or reread a couple of David Richo book,”How to be an adult in relationships” and “Daring to trust” Both great books and I recommend them since trust and being in relationships is kind of what it’s all about I think learning and knowing as much as you can with that is a no brainer.
David Richo says something to the effect that a good partner shows us our work. I believe all relationships can precipitate the hooks, barbs, and triggers that illuminate what we need to understand in order to stop having an emotional experiences to things that aren’t warranted.
Another place I’ve been shown to acknowledge an opportunity is in intentional, facilitated dialogue with is in shadow work. Most of the time I don’t like a person because of me not because of them. Of course if someone punches you in the face that’s not really a place to learn about childhood baggage that’s actually someone just being an asshole and you either discontinue your relationship with them or kick their fucking ass!?! Just joking… kind of.
But when I can’t keep my shit together because my wife won’t turn off the lights when she leaves a room that’s my problem, not hers. And when you get yourself wrapped around the axle because your partner don’t load the dishwasher “the right way” that’s your shit too. Whatever it is that you’re using as an excuse to trade your happiness for ridiculousness it’s all an opportunity to learn about why that happens and where is comes from. It’s you!
The angle I’m bringing here is that classic saying that “life is happening for us” and we “get to” have challenges. I don’t profess to know the answer to the great question of what’s it all about or what happens after we die but I am bringing a different slant on problems (opportunities) and calling myself and you out on appreciating the gift you’ve been provided rather than the victimy, poor me, life is so hard narrative.
What challenge do you either need to release or start appreciating?
Who can you appreciate that unknowingly taught you how not to be?
Can you entertain the idea that some higher power has put challenges in your path to show you things about you?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!