This weeks episode is a topic near and dear to my heart. I spent a lot of my life identifying with how hard life was, how I didn’t get a fair shake, and I was a victim in many ways. Who can feel me here?
There a two types of victims I want to clearly articulate. I have personal experience with both of these and I’m laying it out and being transparent in hopes that you’ll step over some of these same holes rather than fall in. I also see these as common operating procedure with many in life.
There’s a victim of circumstance which is a victim that’s defined as a person who has suffered physical or emotional harm, property damage, or economic loss as a result of a crime. This is not done by choice.
Then there’s victim playing, aka playing the victim, or self victimization. This version is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify unhealthy behavior, manipulation, coping strategies, laziness, or getting attention or pity. This one is done by choice.
My favorite is a combination of these two where they can feed back and forth into one another. (We’re tricky beings.)
The more I’ve taken responsibility for myself (actions, choices, thoughts) the more I’ve been able to impact my life in the ways I want. If I recognize that I’m creating negative things I can also not create them. Victimology is a key component to staying the same. If I believe that life is happening to me then I believe and feel it’s out of my control. I’m simply at the whim and will of all kinds of factors around me rather than having agency and power to own my actions, choices, and thoughts and see how they’re creating my life.
Here’s where I drop the mic… I can look back and see now that I’ve had many many opportunities in my life. Tons that I simply couldn’t see at those times, some I saw and took advantage of, some I didn’t take advantage of. There were also times where I had very limited opportunities and that simply is what it is but I can look back and see that there were times I “chose” to make things hard on myself.
The key I found in opportunities was that in those I had a choice I could exercise and own how that choice created a different life that I was wanting.
Opportunity and victimology rarely, if ever, coexist. Your ability to manage your mindset and to see yourself as a victim or as someone with options, possibilities, and opportunities is a key factor in your ability to manifest happiness… or not.
Where in your life are you blaming someone for how your life is?
What is/are the reason(s) you use to convince yourself that you can’t have or create what you want?
Identify some choices that you’ve been unwilling to recognize.Make different choices even if they’re challenging.
Have fun, I believe in you. Thanks for your time, have a great day.