What area of your life do you need to break the rules?
We can’t talk about breaking rules without talking about following rules. If we’re to examine the idea that we might find value in breaking rules how do we determine this? Following rules, for the most part, is a good thing-maybe it keeps us safe, helps us to belong to social groups, helps to keep us focused toward a goal. Or it keeps us aligned with a general population to a standard. Standards are good.
Take a minute and think about the rules you were trained to follow about each of these:
How we’re supposed to love.
How we’re suppose to spend money.
How we’re supppsed to experience joy.
How we’re supposed to treat our work.
How we’re supposed to approach alcohol. (Or any other altered state)
How we’re supposed to behave around other genders.
How we’re supposed to treat our body.
How we’re supposed to ________ (you fill in the blank)
How much life have we missed out on by conforming to every rule out there? Is it worth it?
Much of this is taught through religion? But we will get to that in a separate deep dive. More to follow.
The rule breaking part comes in where we learn to behave certain ways, think certain things, and make choices accordingly. The idea being that if I just live my life oriented around those certain rules I’ll be fulfilled, happy, belong, be loved, blah blah blah…
This works for a while and then from time to time it doesn’t. I’m going to assume that each of us has experience with coming up to a threshold and seeing that the things I thought would bring me joy, peace, and love are actually the things that are inhibiting it. And we can even find ourselves judging others against the rules we have accepted for ourselves. Yep, that happens all the time!?
What happens when we start questioning those rules and testing the assumed benefits of them? Is there a possibility that we become more free, more fulfilled?
I’ll provide an example here. As I get older, I tend to look at younger people and think that they are making decisions that will poorly impact the rest of their lives. My wife and I will be on vacation sitting at lunch and she will say, “Why are there so many kids out? They should be in school”. But that kind of thinking gets them stuck in the future that we think they should have. Hard work and “nose to the grindstone” gets you a better life later. What if we have it wrong? What if living life to the fullest in every moment and finding beautiful experiences throughout life creates a person that is _______ (fill in the blank with whatever you think a person should be in the end).
Now I see that there is benefit to a balance in all things. But perhaps the balance isn’t where I judge it should be. Or you judge it should be.
The Opportunity:
What are some of the rules that you have lived by that you could spend some time questioning?
Which of those are you going to choose to break over the next month and experiment with the different impacts that come from that?
What other benefits are you looking to gain by breaking the rules?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!