The world is going crazy with accountability, and it should be. People doing what they say is the cat’s pajamas. It provides certainty and paves the way for deeper connection through vulnerability, intimacy, and trust. (My holy trinity for successful relationships, more on that later…)

Hell, Jocko even wrote a book called “Extreme Ownership” which has also been a powerful instigator to continue reshaping organizations and relationships. Accountability, responsibility, and ownership are about agreements. Good agreements go well in everything from sex, business, family, ourselves, EVERYWHERE.

Many of us who are experts at agreements, communication, and relationships still forget this magic two-word close to any and all agreements… “by when”. “By when” is where the rubber hits the road. It has so many great applications. It’s where we all have that nice line of demarcation on the calendar that gets us to do that thing and it also is absolutely required for accountability.

Making agreements is a special subsection in communication that is prone to bring up our wounds, worthiness, doubts, our shitty past, etc, etc. So the fears about where we stand in the connection will interfere closing the deal with that good ole, “by when”.

I don’t do it everywhere but I do it in certain places and it’s always there for me lurking and waiting to interfere with any agreement I make. I know that I don’t want to come across as a dictator or sometimes I see where there are doubts and the execution of a decision so the “by when” will be passed over in those instances too. You might be wrong and you’ll have to take responsibility for that.

The opportunity:

What’s a commitment with yourself that needs a “by when”?

What’s a commitment with someone else that needs a “by when”?

What negative story do you make up will unfold if/when you hold people accountable?

Thanks for your time, have a great day!