I’ve been on a path to be the best I can be for as long as I can remember. Initially, like most, just wanted to get a leg up on life. AKA… get out of spiritual desperation. Initial accomplishments included manipulation, using people, furthering my selfish agenda, being unreasonable, trying to do everything I could to make my life easy and enjoyable. It wasn’t pretty but it was growth.
There have been many layers and stratus along the way and it’s been a journey of acknowledging my weaknesses, being humble about my strengths, and looking at the shit in my life that’s just horrible. And… I’ve gotten on and off the ride many many times.
The spectrum of self reflection has been broad and rich. This range is fluid and mercurial. We can be all over the place and putting intention into different embodiments of this similar to our thoughts-all over the place.
On one side is a total lack of drive to learn about and optimize self. It looks like laziness, or getting demotivated, arrogant and think my shit doesn’t stink and I quit or the “good enough as I am” affect and tone.
On the other side we experience things like, “I can be never good enough”, toxic shame, and/or constantly driven to get rid of all our horribly fucked up parts so that one day, in the distant future, we can maybe… just maybe… be loved and accepted.
I’ve worked with models, actors, pro athletes, and all sorts of people that many of us would consider “having it all” or living or being an ideal that we believe would solve all our problems. I can tell you that none of them are devoid of fears, shame, and tremendous lack of self acceptance. I firmly believe that anyone who doesn’t is completely unconscious, numb, or flat out a liar.
So… welcome to the human experience.
This is why growth and change is not about escaping our shit, it’s about meeting our human need to evolve, grow, and eventually gain a foothold on the idea that we have something to give the world. That it’s about being able to recognize our unique contribution to this planet and our connection to the greater good.
I’ve heard and read at some point that a growth mindset operates well at somewhere between 4% to 10%. That means that in the 1000 waking minutes in the day you’re concentrating on growing for 40 to 100 of those minutes.
How many minutes a day are you spending learning?
What are the common inputs into your cognitive facet that are providing that learning?
Is your growth trajectory sustainable over the long term?
Are the people in your immediate sphere onboard with their own commitment to evolution?