It’s a cycle that deepens more and more and more except when it doesn’t because you do fucked up stuff. Some people actually can’t handle intimacy so they sabotage it but that’s another blog post.
The scale from surface connections to deep intimate connections, what some call love, require trust. This is not a secret but many of us don’t act in a way to facilitate that. Crazy, but it happens, it happens all the time. The more intimate the connection the more trust there must be.
Intimacy is the sum of systematic testing where sensitive information, thoughts, history or beliefs are revealed and processed without the other persons judgements about it causing them to treat us poorly. We are accepted.
Judgments inhibit intimacy. If we don’t allow each other to be outside our predetermined ideas of them we can’t really know who they are. And if that’s not happening we’re simply trying to have them fill a conceptualization of ourselves.
When there’s a rupture of trust in a relationship, intimacy is diminished because we’re less likely to be vulnerable. Duh! Being vulnerable means we put ourselves at risk by revealing our more sacred or sensitive parts. I’m sure you see the conflict.
These ruptures come along in many ways from minor to severe but they all take a toll on the bond that we have with one another. Here’re some parts that make up trust to consider;
Dependability… are you reliable?
Accountability… do you take responsibility for yourself?
Credibility… are you trusted and believed in?
Intention… is your motive clear?
Do you have a clear agenda?
Integrity is doing what you say you value. Do you do that or are there some hypocrisies in your life?
Do you deliver the results you say you will?
Does your behavior speak for you or do your words speak empty promises?
Are you candid and honest?
Are you transparent?
Take a minute and jot these down, then take inventory. Maybe share this and talk with someone who you’d like to have deeper levels of intimacy with.
Thanks for your time. Have a great day!