I’m infinitely curious about why we make the choices we do and how that creates our lives. Often I go into how all this works and why it’s important to manage these things in order to make changes in areas we want to be different. Some things we need to do more of and others we need to do less. Same goes for “being”, be more of X and be less of Y.
Last week I talked about identity and motivation, this week I’m sharing some of my thoughts about this additional subject for your consideration.
One of the really simple things about us as humans is that deep deep down we can distill our lives and recognize that what defines us is clear and identifiable. It’s not for the faint of heart as we love to lie about this. And… the fuckery can get pretty thick with the games we play with ourselves but down in there are answers to your questions about why you are the way you are.
When we gain clarity around what defines us we can also see that nearly our entire lives orient around that thing. Often it’s an idea imprinted on us through an event or series of events that substantiates the idea that we harbor and then utilize throughout life to define us. Read that again.
If what defines you is that you’re unlovable then most facets of your life will be oriented around this. You’ll seek approval, you’ll try to do things for others to gain from them, etc etc.
If what defines you is your walk with god, Christ, Buddha, or other title you call your ultimate reality then your life will reflect it in every single area. Maybe you’ll be really compassionate? Maybe you’ll feel some universal care and responsibility to the world like Mother Theresa?
Maybe your race defines you? Or that one specific traumatic event, maybe that defines you?
Whatever defines you will simply have a pervasive impact everywhere. Do you see it? Hell, can you feel it?
Now fast forward… maybe you die at ninety five years old? Or maybe seventy? What will define you in the end? How will people remember you? What you stood for, what you made important, what you spent your time doing, or the person you were.
I don’t want to die in another thirty or forty years having what defined me be that I’m a Native American, that’s a victim, who grew up on a reservation. Not that I’m not proud of that but the struggles I’ve had are not what I want to be know for. And I don’t want to do good in spite of struggles and trauma, I simply want to embody love, be generous, and be kind.
There’s a little about mine. Here’s your oppportunity;
What defines your life today?
When you die how would you like your life to be defined?
If you died in a week would you be happy with how you’d be defined?
What needs to change today?