When I was in my early twenties I was seeing a therapist who was pretty damn good. He had me do different questionnaires and also provided some frameworks and tools to help me get to know myself better. During this period in my life I learned what it meant that I was an introvert. It was also where I became very clear about the difference between reacting from an emotionally charged place or responding from a place of stillness. I’d been doing a whole lot of reacting!
I saw my option to be more responsive and could clearly see that from stillness I took time to think about situations and deeply inquire. It took me years to get any good at this at all… like twenty, but through that examination I was able to come to some clarity about what version of me I was sending in to handle certain situations-the reactive one or the responsive one. And besides those two versions I have dozens more operating in me.
Throughout my life I’ve had countless experiences where I would feel my emotions would seemingly come from nowhere causing me to say things and do things that just burst out of me uncontrollably. I would react before thinking about the outcome and without consciously deciding what words or actions would be best aligned with my long term goals and outcomes.
Most of my job issues, destruction of intimate relationships, negative childhood school situations, physical altercations, all can be linked to me doing this and acting before thinking and making a good decision.
I could also see that at times I would invert these properties, I would think about things and then I’d think some more and then I’d think some more and then I’d be afraid to act so I’d think some more, feel doubts, still not act, and then think some more, and maybe I’d actually take action on something. At times I’d never take action at all. It was paralyzing.
There was a cost in my lack of execution. I took very little risks in certain areas and missed opportunities. One reason was that I feared I’d expose some part of me I wanted to stay hidden. I’d overthink things and let my feelings overrun my ability to make a decision to take action. This is another version of me that operates under certain circumstances.
We all think about situations, feel certain ways about them, and then make decisions in different ways and in different situations. There’s a time for stillness and there’s a time for execution.
The opportunity:
In general, do you fall too far on the side of action or waiting?
What do you need to pull the trigger on right now?
Are you accessing stillness at some point every day? Could you handle to do that more?
How do you stop yourself from overthinking?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!