How does the story we tell ourselves about who we are impact what and where we call home?
Home has a few interpretations; where we’re from, where we sleep, where are parents live, a village where we’re from, or maybe inside our own hearts or our loved ones. I venture to say if we don’t belong we feel shame and vice versa, if we’re ashamed we often don’t feel like we belong.
Most of you know that I recently moved out to Washington DC. I’ve got a funny story to tell you about that happened before I moved. Every month or so I’ve been doing ayahuasca for the last couple years. Late last year and early this year in these ceremonies I’d begun to look at my identity. Who am I? Why the hell am I here on this planet?
Questions most of us ask ourselves from time to time. And I think that’s a good thing. Lots to ponder…
In this inquiry I’ve come to find that some of who I think I am is a lie. Hell, probably most of it. It’s memories of memories of imprinting and meaning from forever ago. It’s stories I’ve been told and bought into by people who’d been told stories they’d bought into too. Stories…
Anyway, back to moving to DC. I’ve moved a bit in my life. Sometimes I’ve lived in a place for a few years and sometimes I’ve lived in places just days, weeks, or months. We all know that living somewhere doesn’t make it a home although for some it can. (I’ve never felt at home in jail.) Moving is destabilizing on a few different levels including logistically, emotionally, and physically. Maybe even spiritually?
So if I tell myself I’m a Native American victim from the reservation how will that impact me calling Washington DC my home?
For me, when I’ve felt at home is when I’ve felt stable, safe, and certain. A place where I knew what to expect there. But most importantly I could totally feel like I belong there.
We’re born with two particular questions; will I be loved and is there a place for me? So who answers these questions with us? What are the answers based off of?
Lately I’ve been experiencing the generosity of others hospitality in their homes. I’ve been paying attention to the love I’ve been receiving and how I feel welcomed to be there. And I ask myself, what have I done to create that and how does my mindset contribute to me feeling welcome and at home with others?
How do we form the idea of home?
How does your identity effect what home feels like?
Where do you feel comfortable?
What are the factors that you consider when prioritizing how important having a home is?