From early on we ask ourselves, who am I? This is an important question for many reasons. Today the reason to talk about is where we wonder who we are in reference to others and how we do this for reason of connection and belonging.
Throughout our lives we learn about the links, connections, and meanings of how we identify ourselves and how we engineer who we are. Some of this we do on purpose and some happens unconsciously. Either way, all should eventually be examined and go up for review.
Designing who we are starts early on and all things are intended to create a certain feeling, perception, and impact. We then tell ourselves statements to confirm it to ourselves and the world.
- “I’m the type of person who _____.”
- ”What kind of a _____ do you think I am?”
- “That’s just not something I could ever see myself doing.”
- ”I don’t eat food like McDonalds.”
I believe everything, I’ll say it again EVERYTHING, we do is for a reason. I’m not saying the reasons are good or bad, conscious or unconscious, but just asking you to consider that some are outdated with our current priorities. But no matter what there’s a connection to something about why we do what we do.
Inherent in being human we also believe we’re supposed to be or have certain things along the way throughout life. Just as important is that we also want to project evidence of the possession of those things. That way we’ll be liked, accepted, admired, fit in, etc etc.
Hence, our identity is formed. Everything from how we look, dress, act, talk, walk, and even have sex is almost completely bent on our interface with the world and the feedback loop of perception that’s in motion.
My saying this is to confront you and say it’s time we all talk about the vast catalog of all these things that are meant to provide evidence that you possess everything you think you’re supposed to have in this life. Where’s the bullshit and are you on track?
The opportunity;
- What are the top one to three things you identify as? (Ex. lover, dad, athlete, tough guy, smart, woke, doctor)
- What are the top three things those different parts of your identity gain for you?
- What are the top three things those different parts of your identity cost you?
- How does all of the parts of your identity, gains, and costs motivate you?
- Which of those identifiers needs updating?
Thanks for your time, have a great day.