Our fantasies about what our future is supposed to look like is formed with a different mind than the one we end up with when we actually get there. This happens all the time and usually results in a head on collision with reality.
Our concepts of success, love, and happiness are provided to us from our environment and we choose the thing that we believe will help us get our needs met later.
Some kids want to be an astronaut. Some want to be teachers, actors, or scientists. Hell, some even want to be a stay at home Dad, not my deal but, we’re all different. I wanted to be a ninja so maybe too many movies!?
We have concepts about what it’ll look like when we finally succeed; we’ll dress a certain way, have a specific watch, drive that one kind of car and everyone will know you’ve succeeded because their notions of success have been fed by similar imprinting. They’ll want to be you or like you. You’ll be admired and be “significant”. Your husband will be tall, dark, and handsome. Maybe he’ll have a big ole beard?
We have concepts about what being happy in a marriage or other style of intimate relationship is going to look like to others, feel like to us, and how fulfilled we’ll be when we’ve achieved that dream.
We have concepts about jobs, careers, our perfect body, or what it means to be free.
This is great. This is all very natural. It’s also a sure way to suffer and be disappointed. We get caught trying to create something that might have made us happy then but it doesn’t always make us happy as adults.
I’ve heard it said that our lives are filled with the exact adversity that’s needed to prepare you for your purpose on this planet. Hmm… a little more about purpose from last week.
Our lives, what we want, what our needs are, and how we make sense of the world are an ever changing animal. We need to rediscover what makes all of that up and update it to fit our current reality.
Have fun with that.