I’ve been learning the lessons of being a victim for years. Many years, in fact. Being a victim has benefitted me in so many ways and it was also a bad habit. I simply lacked the courage to be happy or to solve the problems that I was the one who was actually creating. Jeez. What a ride!
I do still feel sorry for myself, so don’t worry I still have that problem. I guess I just can’t resist the special flavor of that victim mindset. But when I feed that part of myself it doesn’t always give me the highest quality of gratification that I’ve also become acquainted with. I do choose something else sometimes.
I was born with a lot and I was also born without much in the numerous areas of gifts and privileges. For far too long I loved counting all my misfortunes and the raw deals I was given in life. “My life is so hard.”, I’d tell myself. “So many other people have it way better/easier/blah blah blah…”
While I can’t always turn dogshit into ice cream by putting Hershey’s syrup on it, It finally clunked that I could turn lemons into lemonade. I began to entertain the concept of life being less about what I was dealt and more about what I did with it.
I talk often about reducing the shame I feel and discontinuing trying to rewrite my past to fit some storybook version of who or what I think I’m supposed to be in order to be loved. Damn, it’s been great to actually bless myself for being who I am today. And it’s been amazing to have the arrogance to forgive myself for my best in the past not being the best I can do today.
Without the trauma and the drama I’ve experienced along the way I wouldn’t be the badass person I am today. With practice I recognize that I can trade in my lower quality problems for higher and higher quality ones.
So each of my challenges have been opportunities. They have been and will continue to be things I can creatively seek to see what I can make of my life no matter what comes my way. With enough creativity I can realize a new story going forward that’s positive and beautiful.
The opportunity:
What is the biggest challenge you’ve experienced that created amazing outcomes in the end?
What do you need to forgive yourself for?
How can you bless yourself?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!