I’m an introvert. I’m also someone who values my time a lot. Probably more than most. I think about death all the time. Mine, others, and people I love and care about. When I connect with people I want to talk about sex, love, death, god, and other things that are deep.

You see, death is happening all around us… all the time. We’ve developed quite a taboo around death in most societies so we can delude ourselves and act like it doesn’t. We’ve seen campaign after campaign designed to heighten awareness of death and specifically suicide. I’m willing to bring my and your attention back to the reality that we’re all dying, our time is finite and we have a lot less time that most of us think.

The problem with all of this is that we don’t live the life we want to, should, or are called to because we just figure we’ll do it later. I didn’t have any specific experience around the suicide of Anthony Bourdain or Kate Spade. I see this as an opportunity to speak out, bring awareness and offer thoughts.

I’ve had a few times and events in life that have been troubling and challenging.
About six years ago I had what may have been the biggest rupture in my belief system in my entire life. I fell so deeply into pain that I got lost in my suffering. And it lasted a while. Those around me plead with me to commit to living while I refused to make promises and rode the ride all the way to the bottom.

It was rich, intense, and beautiful. I learned more about myself from this experience than anything had ever taught me before. The resulting power and personal strength has fortified and tempered me as a man.

It was exactly what I needed to pivot in life and get more in alignment with who I was meant to be and what my purpose is on this planet. But I had to face some of the darkest parts of myself. I had to look at the hypocrisy that was in my life. I had to look at how I was being lazy and scared.

I was lucky. I made it out alive. I felt it, touched it, and tasted it but came out the other side alive. I was fortunate enough to not lose that battle and instead gain nuggets of gold on the other side. Nuggets that I now feel called to share.

I accessed help. I told the truth. I didn’t shy away and I refused to go back to sleep. No matter what I refused to default. I found out that I needed connections. I found meaning and a drive to give, be appreciative, to be tenacious and to hold on.

I gained a different relationship with time and had major shifts in my priorities. My purpose in life was distilled.

If you’re struggling, hold on, it will pass, I promise. If someone near you is struggling, hold onto them. Slow down, connect, show compassion, and love.

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