Fear is said to be the second most powerful motivator in the world with love being the first. I actually questions that love is more powerful based on the state of many of our relationships but that’s another blog but I will leave you with this, why do we continually choose fear over love?

I don’t like to use absolutes so I won’t here but I will say nearly all of our fear have to do with our interface with other beings; whether that be personal, business, intimate, or otherwise.

So… what do we fear? I’ll provide two very powerful examples of fears;

Will I be disconnected from and/or will someone hurt themselves?

When we feel rejection, abandonment, betrayal, ridicule, etc etc… these all boil down to people putting distance between them and us. This is separation and/or the loss of connection that we can feel. Yeah, here comes the pain?!? We’ve all felt this.

We then mind fuck ourselves into guessing all the negative effects that the separation will have on our access to love, status, favor, and so on.

I think the second fear that can consume us and control us in deciding how we manage our lives and surroundings is when we fear that if we choose certain things that other people will be hurt by those decisions or even worse, hurt themselves physically.

There are countless nuances to fear when it comes to relationships. I often attempt to distill things down into simple, clear examples so this might not be the greatest fit for you.

Something to remember is the difference between mortal fear and social fears. Often times the mind can’t tell the difference between the two and most people believe that social harm is just as bad as mortal harm. Social pain is often shame-based and feels horrible.

What I’m pointing out here is that we’re controlled by fear and base many of our decisions on things we’re afraid of and trying to circumvent potential pain. We become so accustom to this that we can easily lose track of our main goal and long term intended outcome.

The opportunity;

In your key personal/intimate relationship, what are your top three fears?
For each of those fears whats the bad thing you imagine will happen if you chose to ignore the fear?
Which fear will you face first and how will you face it?

In your key work/career relationship, what are your top three fears?
For each of those fears whats the bad thing you imagine will happen if you chose to ignore the fear?
Which fear will you face first and how will you face it?

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