What each of us has or believes we don’t have is totally relative. That being said when I was younger I didn’t think I had enough. I wanted more. I often had a pretty serious case of the wants. This informed how I approached life and how I set out to gain things for myself.
My belief was having what I wanted would equal happiness.
It’s natural to want. It’s also natural to want and to act like you don’t want. That was me. I would later learn it was all part of my tactic of “playing it cool”. And since I’m cool I didn’t want to come across needy. What a fucking mess! I’m already getting confused and feeling embarrassed as I reflect on the tactics that I used to use to get my needs met. Anyone else fancy a short trip down memory lane? Maybe it’s not that short of a trip.
For a good part of my life. I had no idea what my needs were. I also had no idea how to get them met. I had unspoken expectations. I was/am insecure and I also deep down I didn’t feel like I actually deserved to be happy. This dynamic was a perfect set up to go about trying to get things I wanted, that I thought would make me happy, that I didn’t think I deserved, by trying to get needs met in ways I wasn’t clear about. Jeez…
As you’ve likely done yourself, I was playing darts in a pitch black room and didn’t know what wall the dart board was on. It was classic “on a wing and a prayer”.
With the use of my ego (and all that entails), some natural talent, and lots of trial and error I did get quite a bit of things that I wanted. It was nice. I gained a bit of happiness. And… the happiness quickly became a voracious animal that was growing like a red kangaroo. Which of course I fed. I kept upping my game and repeating cycles of wanting, gaining, happiness.
At the same time I was rolling hard with the cycles of gain I was also involved in many methods of self exploration and evolution. Obviously, I got better at knowing what made me tick and how to accomplish getting my needs met with more elegance. Obviously! The funny thing that happened was that in the exploration of myself I wound up in different places where I also got to give of myself. I gained a firmer grip on the reality that not only could I be happy I also deserved it.
I slowly transitioned from a state of deficiency and meagerness to feeling like I had more than I needed and could give some of my valuable energy away. This whole giving thing being new, and awkward at first, I had to learn the parameters of my expenditure so I stayed balanced and healthy. When this works out well is when I feel the most fulfilled I can be. I feel fortunate that I get to receive so much by contributing to the world.
So happiness being about having what I want, be it things or experiences, then fulfillment is about giving of myself and contributing to others.
I’m a work in progress as I know that you probably are too. I’m continually tweaking the knobs and dials to stay in the sweet spot of happiness, giving of myself to the world, and feeling fulfilled. What I know is that lately while the world is facing challenges and struggle I feel a tremendous about of fulfillment from helping and serving in the ways that I can. Your turn…
The opportunity:
What is your superpower?
How are you contributing your superpower to the world right now?
Do you feel deficient or an abundance of energy?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!