One of the things that I’ve explored at length is the victim identity that I utilize for gain. It’s delusional.
I’m going to switch to “we” pronoun now to include you as this concept is meant to help you see something about yourself you may not see.
If we focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do we might be in that mindset. If we struggle to see all that we’re grateful for we might be in that mindset. If we’re unable to see how beautiful our life is and how fortunate we have it, yeah, welcome to the center stage, the ring leader of the circus, the victim.
The perfect combo to derail life and be a wrecking force in this world is being a narcissistic victim. Triggered yet? Read on…
We often live our lives through our victim entity to get seen, to take the focus off other things, to provide excuses for our laziness, etc etc, the list goes on…
I state up above that it’s for “delusional gain”. Some people struggle with the concept of gain or benefit when it comes to living our lives through a negative or shadow entity. If the point of the lens we’re seeing the world through is to sabotage our greater peace, love, or other riskier venture in this world and it, in fact, does fuck that up then the facet of us running the show has accomplished its mission and is gaining what it wants. It experiences a win. Is that really the part of us we want running the show?
It’s a common thing in the world to argue about who the bigger victim is.
“Well, it’s harder for me.”
When we start to feel the tendency to provide others our resume of challenges and trauma while the world is needing us to show up and listen it’s a sure sign. Or let us get offended and disconnect to “protect” ourselves from the “mean” people out there.
When we do that we’ve become useless. Whether it’s the overly sensitive side or the checked out side, both are minimally effective if at all. We all need to be in the fight, up against the discomfort, and allowing the sovereign part of us to be running the show. Are we seeing the big picture?
I suggest we quit telling others what integrity looks like when our own integrity isn’t as tight as it should be either. Destruction is part of humanity. It’s a part of our world. All of us, in some way, have a part to own in the destruction of the world. Destruction isn’t just reserved for some and not others. If you think it isn’t stand back and watch the world prove you wrong. Eventually all of us will end.
Children and babies, bite each other when they’re frustrated and trying to communicate. It’s one of the last resorts when they can’t seem to convey what they’re trying to.
It’s not my turn to be seen, to have my needs met, it’s probably not yours either.
Maybe it’s not time for us to transmit and instead it’s time to fucking listen. And listen deeply… if we can. There’s always a reason that people (all of us) do what we do. It may not be right but there’s cause and effect. If you can’t see why then maybe you’re numb to the cause. Humanity is capable of so much, good and bad, and we all need to have the eyes to understand why humans do what they do.
If you find that your glass is always full and you always have a comfortable place to sit, it’s definitely not your turn. Life isn’t only about our own comfort or “peak experiences”. It’s about others as well. It’s about “the” American dream and not just yours.
The opportunity:
Start by sitting still and trying to empathize with someone else or some group of people.
Can you let it not be your turn right now?
Do you see the “want or need” that others are trying to fulfill? Not how they do it but what the need is!
Can you see that what they want is natural and probably very similar to yours?
Thanks for your time, have a great day.