Trust-the building block of everything that matters, from relationships, to business, to having confidence.
I recently was on a zoom call with a group of people and we talked about the animal we call trust. Sometimes we give people trust when they don’t deserve it and sometimes we don’t trust people who we can and should. Why is that? There are so many facets to this thing we deal with every single day.
Another things is that many of us struggle with trusting ourselves, that’s where the lack of confidence comes in. Or we have a pretty good idea that under certain circumstances we know what we’re likely to do and rather than regulate ourselves we continually create situations where we give ourselves permission to do things that are important to one part of us but not important to another.
Do you trust your gut? Why is that?
Do you often go against your “better judgement”?
One thing I see happen in the world is that we don’t have clear ideas about a matter so we take that confusion and make the matter off limits. We don’t go there and we miss the opportunity to develop an understanding of all the parts to why we do what we do and how it creates the life we have. Ambiguity is a breeding ground for our shadow to thrive. It’ll get us in conflicts with our values and principals every day of the week and twice on Sunday’s.
Doing what you say you’re going to do is important when it comes to trust but do you have the discipline to follow through, do you have the courage to not make a commitment that would please someone that you want to please?
Humans fuck up, it’s a part of humanity. We’re not robots and we’re simply not dependable 100% of the time. That being the case, how we handle those shortcoming and lack of follow through in areas where we fail is important in the cultivation of trust.
So you’re your own person and can take your trust building framework into your own hands but I thought I’d share some of my personal ideas that are required in order to build and maintain trust. These go for myself as well as others.
I, myself, and others who are looking to create, maintain, or repair trust need to have a a rigorous method for examining themselves. There are layers of truth that change at different stratus along the way. If we’re not penetrating those deeper layer our trust will be shallow as well.
With examination comes the discovery of the demons that exist inside of us. We know how they operate, under what circumstances they run the show, and knowledge about where they came from, how to regulate and manage them, and how to tell ourselves and others the truth about their existence. And when those demons come out to play and wreak havoc I or they clean shit up clearly and quickly. Who’s gotten a weak ass apology before and felt that bullshit weak sauce? Or maybe you dispensed one…
Another part of trust that I’ll offer up for examination is the facets of trusting ourselves. What does that take? Where don’t we? What can or has damaged it? We make decisions all day, every day. Some of them help us and plenty help create the hot mess express we call our lives. After enough time goes by we start to doubt our ability to make “good” decisions and then it compounds. We look for examples to substantiate our horrible decision making and we’re off to the races.
The opportunity:
In what circumstances do you not trust yourself?
What is needed to earn your trust?
What truth are you, yourself sitting on?
What is something that someone has done that damaged your trust recently?
And where did you do something to break your own?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!