This week is about the drama triangle. Do you know what that is? It’s like the Bermuda Triangle where people go in and never make it back out, except the drama triangle happens with our psychic energy going into a black hole and never coming back out.
So…being that it’s a triangle there are three components; the victim, the villain (aka the perpetrator) and the rescuer (aka the hero).
This is a special dynamic we all too often find ourselves in with relationships. We gravitate to one of these characters and the others fall into place. We all can play any role and do throughout our days and lives.
A perpetrator victimizes others in life. And then the victim needs someone to rescue them. One can’t exist without the other.
Do you see how they perfectly fit?
The victim is disempowered and may be needy. Sometimes if someone identifies with being a victim or gets something out of it they go looking for a perpetrator. If they don’t find one they will create one. Have you ever made a villain out of someone so that you could be rescued? Yeah, me neither.
The rescuer is the savior or the hero. They want to help or be useful. Their main purpose is to be there for the victim but there aren’t any victims without villains. They consider themselves the protagonist. They actually need a victim to retain this identity and inappropriately at times will go looking for someone to play that role. Sound familiar?
The perpetrator is the antagonist in the triangle. For a multitude of reasons they victimize others; selfishness, power, drawn to chaos or narcissism. Victims fall in their wake.
Are you seeing even more clearly how these all fit?
We each have embodied every role at one time or another. We “accidentally” find ourselves in or actively creating situations where this dynamic plays out.
So tell me, how do you escape the drama triangle? I’ll tell you how I escape the perils next week.