I’m going to attempt to make this as apolitical as I can. I don’t have the answers but I’m well know for provoking questions and inquiry. I simply ask why do we create what we do, believing that the more awareness we have about that the greater the possibility we can evolve and change.
Nearly the entire world has felt the dramatic impact of covid. The shifts, whether big or small, have created separation and distance in our relationships. Our world has responded with all kinds of creative solutions. We’re also seeing some amazing things happening all around us: rallies of support, families getting closer, communications improving, etc etc.
I gave away a bed recently. Some friends came over with a truck and we moved it out of our apartment and were standing down on the street as things were being organized for the best fit in the truck with all the components.
Most of us were standing around leaning on things while a couple people were doing the work. As we stood around yakking a homeless man came walking up the sidewalk. My spidey sense perked right up. Is he on drugs? Is he mentally unstable? You probably know the drill…
As he walked up he began to circle the group of us. It appeared from facial expressions that none of us were sure what he was doing. He kept circling. It looked like he started listening intently to what we saying. Then he started to weaving in and out of all of us. Others were getting nervous but to me he was doing more than listening it looked like he was actually trying to feel us. He wasn’t spying or casing any of us, he was looking for connection.
The whole experience reminded in me that same feeling… a better put yearning.
Connection. Belonging.
I’d never felt how important it was to quench that longing as I have recently. Maybe because of covid, because of moving to Washington DC a couple years ago, or other things that have interfered with my sense of relationships with the people I lived around.
Military has community, prison has community, gangs have community, church is a place of community, gyms, martial arts groups/dojos, and even people who are gamers that jack in to talk, hang out, and do things together all have community.
All the groups that we belong to fulfill that sense of community.
I’d say I’m on the newer side of fully understanding the science of community but I know a ton about belonging. We are born with the deep, intrinsic desire to belong. I know that being exiled is worse than death (and meant literal death in certain times) and that’s why it was used to punish people and get people in communities to comply with the parameters guiding said community. The idea being that we’re agreeing to the greater good for all and committed to that.
I need the support and acceptance of others. Sometimes that comes from insecurities and on the other side of the coin it comes from a healthy yearning for love and connection. Another very clear human need is to have interface with others. Our relationships exponentially pronounce the events of our lives and when we share things with others we feel them to a greater degree. Our relationships and our communities are also where we’re going to do all learning about ourselves and others.
The opportunity:
What part of your life starts to break down when you don’t have community?
What is the scariest part of actually having community?
Is there a connection between community has to do with accountability?
How do you cultivate community?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!