Latest Thoughts
You Will Die!
The trouble is, you think you have more time. ~Buddha Very eloquent. Me…not so much. I simply ask, when will you stop fucking around? You waste time. I do, you do, we all do. You aren’t as effective as you want to be. Join the club. I, for one, am constantly looking to change that. […]
Reflection
It’s the end of another year. It’s time to reflect and look at what has worked for you and…what hasn’t. I find it imperative to reflect more and more as I seek to take responsibility to create my life and have the impact on the world that I intend. This doesn’t happen without doing it […]
A child’s fantasy (reflections on a river)
“Life is a river. You’re floating, beating back the current. A man, standing, canoes by. He runs into a rock and falls on his ass. His dog paddles up to him. Your friends are behind you. They are there, but they are not you.” This was the line of thinking my brain found its way […]
Die while you still can
“All goes onward and outward . . . . and nothing collapses, / And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier. // Has any one supposed it lucky to be born? / I hasten to inform him or her it is just as lucky to die, and I know it.” – […]
A Tentative Hypothesis on How to Live – Not Merely Be Alive
“… awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: ‘This is water, this is water.’ // It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in […]
A reflection on loneliness
This post is about loneliness. It’s about the ways in which I crave it, cultivate it, complain about it, long for its death, and grieve over it. The truth is, I spend quite a bit of time feeling lonely, and I spend even more time analyzing it, fighting it, and hoping that someday someone will […]
Confessions of an overachiever
I have a confession: I’m an overachiever, and I’m insatiable. I love to play the underdog, wear the chip on my shoulder, feel like I’ve overcome some unfair handicap, and exceed everyone’s expectations. And it seems like I can never get enough. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a perfectionist who binges […]
Healthy Resistance; or Life on My Gary Fisher Hybrid
One of my favorite books is Moby-Dick. It’s full of humor, drama, and introspective reflection. It’s expansive, covering seemingly every physical and metaphysical topic under the sun. It also teaches me to listen. Ishmael, the narrator (at least “Ishmael” is what he instructs us, as readers, to call him.), spends thousands of words on the […]
Cuddle up to fear and let it whisper in your ear
“Do what you fear the most,” read a note magnetized to Ben’s old apartment in Pittsburgh. I met Ben in grad school, and it was my first time visiting him after we had gone our separate ways. And I haven’t forgotten that note. It struck me as bold, as courageous, as, well, really fucking scary. […]
Why I’m afraid of God…and writing…and submitting…and love.
God is a difficult word for me. It’s a difficult concept to think about – and by difficult I mean that my body typically physically locks up when someone mentions it. Even writing about it right now, I want to open a new tab in my browser, distract myself, and/or walk [run] away. And, come […]