When I went in search of finding my “personal power” an initial step I took was to not take on things that weren’t mine… let’s face it before that I was just looking for power. These were good steps. It was meant to create separation and draw a line between myself and another. Not mine/disconnect/you, not me. I wouldn’t say I was sorry for things that I didn’t do.
My thought was why should I apologize for something happening that wasn’t my fault? There were times I would take things on to try to diffuse the situation and gloss things over but I grumbled in my head and resented people when I did it. It was unhealthy.
I’ve grown now so that at times I’m big, expansive, full, and generous. I feel that I can be there for people even when they’re mean or rude. I can carry the burden of blame for people and do all I can to heal the world. I believe we all need love because the world is full of wounded people. I’m one of them. Our wounds are what cause us to misbehave and act out.
Recently when talking to a friend I used a metaphor about us being a bucket and the love that gets given to us is held by that bucket. I went on to say that when we’re wounded by life we get holes in that bucket. (How many holes does your bucket have?) My comparison was that throughout life if we heal those wounds those holes in the bucket get patched up. Our being can then hold and contain more life energy/love and it doesn’t leak out as fast. Then we need less and less to be constantly being filled up by love, energy, and for others to lend us energy. Eventually, our bucket holds water, for the most part, and others can dip into our bucket and drink from that.
So from a generous place I know that I can be sorry for a situation that created hatred in someone. Being sorry that something has been difficult or challenging for another doesn’t mean I identify with the blame of the situation but that something has happened which caused another to suffer.
Where are you at with this? How many holes are in your bucket?