I can be quite the serious person. I’m focused, intentional, and driven. I like the benefits of tenacity and commitment even in the face of challenges. I wouldn’t say I’m the best in the world at that stuff but I developed that a lot at one point and it’s done me well.
I’ve also chased times and experiences where I could let go and fuck off. I actually did this very poorly for a long time. I was confused about joy and pleasure. In the box of characteristics that I called manliness I’d not been taught about having fun. I thought it somehow made me weak and that I’d be caught off guard by some horrible event if I let myself be free and loose.
These contrasting energies created a seesaw effect in my life with broad strokes back and forth of strictness in between a somewhat controlled (or completely out of control) fall around letting myself have a good time.
Because I had baggage around fun, joy, love, and pleasure I didn’t take the serious approach of committing in an intentional way-whether that was being in nature, seeking altered states, playing games, or even having juicy sexual experiences. It was usually haphazard and unintentional.
Recently I knew if I was going to deepen my experience with pleasure I’d have to get “serious” about it. None of this screwing around but instead a measured, scientific, and strategic approach so I could collect data and optimize the peak experiences that I knew could be had.
The serious approach I’ve found is one that’s very scientific. Set intention, create a plan, pay attention during the experience, collect data, make adjustments, and take another lap around the fun track.
We’re constantly evolving beings so how we create experiences can’t stay the same. How I had fun in my twenties was great but it doesn’t have the same impact anymore. I’ve learned things that create different nuances with joy, love, fun, and pleasure.
I’m safer than I used to think I was and stronger now so I can take greater risks to find deeper experiences of intimacy in my relationships. Joy with others is exponentially greater.
The deeper opportunity:
How do you push love away?
Can you see that you’re stronger than you think you are?
How can you take your approach to fun and pleasure more seriously?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!