This is week five of the five week open season for the crossfit games open. It’s been a long five weeks. Besides this weeks workout, I’ve done every workout twice. That makes nine workouts. It has taken a toll.
I’ve gone on and on about what my internal process is throughout these last weeks. If you’ve been following along it’s been a pretty wide array of thoughts, feelings and new understandings. I’ve loved it and there’ve been times that I’ve hated it. I’ve found and gotten more intimate with some of my weaknesses, both physical and emotional.
Here’s my experience with the entire process. Starting thirty five weeks ago I got on a path. The goal was to face my physical shortcomings and weaknesses. I met with my current fitness and nutrition coach, Paul Buono. http://www.paulbuono.com We had coffee and I explained what I was thinking and he easily convinced me to shoot for competing as a masters athlete in the crossfit games open. I had fantasies that I’d be standing on the podium. They were fleeting but, hey, a boy can dream. Why not? I have the ideal body type for crossfit. I’m 5’9″ and I’m a mesomorph.
Like I said, the plan was to expose and work on the numerous issues that limited me. Initially, this started out with Paul programming auxiliary movements and methods to strengthen things. In a matter of about eight weeks he told me that I should consider him completely designing a program tailored for me. Which we’ve been doing for the last twenty six weeks.
I’m sharing all this to provide the full picture not to bore you with the details about the physical aspects of this undertaking. This process was rich and fulfilling on many fronts and facets, the least of which was the physical part.
First off, doing a program designed specifically for me meant doing that work, for the most part, alone. It also required me to find a gym that supported hours that worked with the timing I needed. I stopped working out with my significant other and all my other gym buddies. This taught me that community, comrederie and healthy competition are more important to me than I thought. How did I behave when no one was around?
The old saying that “we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with” proved itself here. Being around the group of people I usually did helped me drive myself because they drive themselves, in turn they demanded a high output of me and they provided a sounding board for me establishing my reality. This is universal and goes beyond the physical aspect and into psychological and spiritual evolution most of us desire.
The willingness for my significant other to stand behind me and allow us the compromises we did to move towards the goal I set my sights on was humbling for me. To be committed to the process meant that she had to commit to it as well. She did that for me. She’s a rock star and has been the center of things while I sought to find myself in the undertaking.
Another great dynamic realized was around the support and team of people that asked me how I was doing. I shared my goal and shared the journey with anyone wanting to join me. It was great to allow myself to accept their care and concern, this was challenging at times, because I struggle with others caring about me, but wonderful when I let that in. People really do care about one another.
I learned even more about my inner process that shows up in an attempt to move towards creating something new. Bargaining continues to show up and the oscillation back and forth of wanting and acting like I didn’t want what I was after was eye opening.
I’ve had to take a dose or two of my own medicine and surrender to the wisdom and knowledge of others. I don’t know everything, I had to admit that. Then I had to decide where I’d access new ideas and information to most likely provide the knowledge and input needed to help me get what I wanted.
I’ve had to use my noodle in my head to strategize and discover the many facets that needed my attention and work to change all those in order to enable the highest likeliness that I’d achieve what I was after. Each particular aspect not completely solving the problem but maximizing possibility to attain the goal.
I’ve had to face failure and develop a healthy relationship with how I integrate and reconcile wanting something and the possibility of not being able to create/have it.