“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” I love Newton’s Third Law.
I believe our most important human need is connection. Whether that be love, friendship, conversations, and everything in between. I also believe that connection and specifically love is the most terrifying thing we can experience. Love is the precursor to grief. They go hand in hand.
I’ve had my bouts with loss and deep grief. It showed me the depth of my love. I found out that it was immense and powerful.
So… the fact that love is important and also terrifying is what leads me to discuss today’s topic. SABOTAGE, which means to purposefully destroy, damage, or obstruct. Although purposefully most of the time we do this unconsciously.
Some of you/us have a very sophisticated saboteur. They’re calculating, measuring, and strategic. We poison ourselves in our sleep and like magic our connections are fractured. We can convince ourselves with a myriad of reasons why we’re “better off anyways”. And others have a saboteur that uses a bludgeon to batter ourselves and our loved one to keep them away, terrified, and traumatized.
At a certain point in my childhood I became convinced that I didn’t deserve connection. The idea of being loved was so foreign that it was out of the question. It simply didn’t make sense to me. When it came near me I pushed it away, attacked it, burned the world to the ground, or some other means to get that “nasty”, weird, gooey stuff away from me.
There are plenty of reason why I did this and I won’t get into the why right now because I want to focus on finding the courage to move towards love rather that push it away.
I don’t know you’re style of disconnection or sabotage and I don’t really care, I just want to call you out to look at how you’re still fucking up the love in your life. And how you keep doing weird shit to push people away.
Our spirit yearns for deeper, heartfelt and soulful connections. The abyssal nature of the soul is pretty much boundless and waiting for explorations.
The opportunity;
What’s your go-to method to create distance with the people you love?
What is the most terrifying thing about giving your whole heart away?
How do you rationalize the bargain you make when you choose to live in a subpar relationship with the distance you’ve created?