“If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family” -Ram Dass.
In the previous couple blogs I’ve put out I’ve talked about different parts of our personality, or different entities that show up and play out in certain situations. This week I’m carrying on with the same theme to help point out what happens around family gatherings often.
In the last couple months and in coming weeks we’ve been neck deep (or some of you are in over your heads) in social activities and family events.
For some it’s concentrated time with family members that throughout the rest of the year we don’t spend that kind of time with. It’s a great opportunity to see where we’re at mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. (A spiritual test?) I often say that our families are good at pushing our buttons because they’re the ones who installed those buttons in the first place.
I’m an absolute believer that our relationships are one of the most important things in our world. So for me, learning how to better and better relate and connect with the important people in our lives is a high priority.
There is an old you and there’s a newer you. The old you is the entity that defaults back into old behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, and so on. There’s a part in all of us that wants everything to stay the same and constantly default back to old ways. Some of our oldest connections are most often our family although not always. When we spend time back in old environments with old relations we have a strong inclination to default. Why is this? I believe that old unconscious patterns and dynamics are precipitated by the interface with things from our past. Our old home, our neighborhood, family constellations, and rituals so rich in old imprinting. Get it?
And there’s the “newer you”. Throughout our lives we have personal and professional connections of varying lengths of time. Our newest connections often reflect the most recent iteration of habits, practices, and beliefs. Take for instance, we currently like to workout all the time and don’t drink anymore but five or ten years ago we drank like a fish and hung out at ball games and bars. Your friends from five or ten years ago may or may not be still drinking like fish and hanging out at ball games but it’s the thing you used to connect through and around.
So do you have the strength and tenacity to navigate connecting with old relationships and not default back into old, unhealthy patterns and behaviors?
The opportunity here is this;
What are the things you tell yourself when you feel tension around family gatherings during the holidays?
Can you think of the challenges with family as a game? A game you where you try to learn more and succeed in having more of what you want and need from them.
What old habits or patterns can you recognize?
Thanks for your time. Have a great day.