One thing I say often and believe deeply is that there are many parts of each of us. Most of the ideas I present are based on trying to understanding why we have those, what dynamics exist between them all, and how do integrate them. Different parts have varying values and operating systems through which they behave, make decisions, and “see” the world. This is why one part of chooses one thing while another part has committed to do another.
One part wants to be in shape and the other says,”Go Fuck Yourself! I’m going to have a six pack of beer every night.” One part commits to a lifetime of fidelity and another part that rationalizes excuses and creates a relationship that directly breaks that commitment.
There are many many parts alternately or simultaneously at play at one time. For me, one of these versions operates much more while I’m awake and the other comes out to play when I’m asleep. And yet another operates at a very high level that I will nearly ever access if I’m not putting devoted effort to hang with that guy in that state of mind.
One part runs the show when I’m tired, clingy, controlling, stuck, and most of all scared. Scared to feel uncomfortable sensations. Scared to feel at all.
And another part is the emerging one when I feel whole and in a good space to ride the ocean of life and say,”Surf’s up!!!” This version of me feels deeply at my core that I’ve got this when things are challenging. And rather than being afraid to feel, loves to feel all the juicy and intense sensations that we “get to” in the human experience.
Basically, I’m a result of my patterns and habits though. I do well for a while or maybe a long time but there are times I default. I go to sleep, I drift back to “older” or other versions of myself that isn’t operating as my most evolved version.
Why?
There’s always going to be an emerging version of me. It’s not me… yet it’s simply showing me a version that can be moved towards and embodied if I’m willing to make it a pattern which will then would become integrated and embodied. I think we default to what we deeply embody.
I say it’s not me yet because it’s only a possibility until I literally act out the things that will increase it’s likeliness until it exists. That likeliness is based off the ability to stay awake and ride the emerging choices that will lead to enacting what is needed to in order to create it.
We will all find out who we are when we put ourselves in a challenging situation where our core is all we have to fall back on. Then our true self emerges.
The opportunity:
What’s your leading edge?
What might be emerging for you?
What causes you to default?
What destructive things happen when you default?
Thanks for your time, have a great day!